


In a Thousand Years (We'll Be Far From Here)

by withoutyourdress



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, heart eyes everywhere, the love story we needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:29:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3761572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutyourdress/pseuds/withoutyourdress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke finds herself at the edge of a cliff and below is none other than the city Polis. She finds herself in front of a yearning heart and she jumps in head first. As trouble lurks ahead, the beginning is anything but.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kiari, the Great Wanderer

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided to put my spin on things with these two ladies and their family/friends.  
> The only thing you need to know is I've changed one canon thing: Lincoln was never freed by Indra.
> 
> Also; Commander Heart Eyes is a softy when not faced with war. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**One | Kiari, the Great Wanderer ******

She could smell it in the air. She could feel the change of breeze the more she travelled south. Clarke Griffin couldn't tell you how long she had been on her own for, but it was enough to know she could feel a change in the environment and its elements.

Clarke had lost count of how many nights she had spent alone in the woods before she reached a rather gorgeous clearing of the brightest green grass. It had also been a couple of days since she had eaten a decent meal of any kind. Her body was exhausted from the lack of sleep each night; always making sure one eye was open just in case.

The Grounders were no longer to be trusted and there were other clans out there in which Clarke had no idea what their customs were like. She had to keep up her guard if she wanted to make it to her destination alive.

Not that she knew where she was going. The world was a large place and Clarke remembered it looking much smaller from her view in the skybox just a few months prior. Blinking, she looked up at the clear blue skies and let out a long sigh. She decided to take the opportunity to stroll in the tall grass, her fingers feeling every blade as she walked towards the middle. She could hear a rush of a waterfall in the distance and relaxed a bit knowing she had a fresh source of water.

Clarke had spent the warm afternoon laying on the rocks, watching the birds fly above her as the sun bathed her. It was a weird feeling for her - letting her guard down for a brief moment just to grasp the unfamiliar feeling of what the word 'relax' meant. She had to admit she was enjoying it.

Her aching heart and guilt that ran deep within her always seeped through the tears she would cry every single night. She cried for those she had lost. She ached for those that lost their lives too early, even if wasn't always by her own hand - or her people.

Mount Weather needed to be taken down and Clarke had every good intention in her body to make sure the innocent would be protected. She had made a deal with the Commander and together, with their people, they were determined to see it through as they had planned. Everyone was skeptical about trusting Lexa but they knew if Clarke could trust her then they didn't really feel the need to argue.

Granted, Clarke was partially responsible for not warning Tondc and her People that it was a target for a missile so the blood of the innocent were on her hands. She had no time to dwell on the judgement that poured out in some of her People because they had a war that needed to be fought and conquered.

She focused on following Lexa's lead, on Lexa's training, on Lexa's ability to stay calm in any given situation. Her stoic face and harsh green eyes never blinked once when she chanted _"Jus drein jus duan!"_ to get her warriors riled up for a big fight. It was inspiring and Clarke had found herself under the spell of the chant.

Clarke had no time to dwell on the fact that she had been burned by the one person she put most of her trust into. The moment Lexa pulled the Commander mask on outside the doors of Mount Weather and revealed that she had made a deal with the enemy and rescued her own People, Clarke could literally feel her heart break in pieces. She wasn't above pleading for Lexa to just help her. There was still time and they could do so much damage to Mount Weather if they could continue on with part of the plan.

_"I'm sorry, Clarke."_

Lexa's voice kept echoing in her head. There were so many things Clarke could not escape that constantly whirled around inside of her mind. Green eyes flashing in a look that could be seen as slight regret when Lexa turned on her alliance.

The look of _weakness_ when Lexa made the move to kiss her in the privacy of her own tent. The way Lexa's hand wrapped around the back of her neck and pulled her in, breathed her in. The way Lexa allowed herself to be soft and gentle and accepting when Clarke gently turned her down. They were in the middle of a war. Clarke wanted nothing more than to get lost in passion or love - especially with someone who was strong and gorgeous as the Commander - but she had to think with her head and not her heart.

_"I do care Clarke, but I made this decision with my head and not my heart." Lexa forced out, her eyes never straying from the blonde in front of her._

_"Please, don't do this." Clarke was desperate. Desperate to protect her friends, her family. Desperate to believe that Lexa betraying her was all a nightmare she'd wake up from. Desperate to forget that her heart was currently laying within the battlefield, completely useless._

_"I'm sorry, Clarke." Conviction reached the Commander's voice._

_All Clarke could do was stare and grasp onto how all of everything was going so so wrong._

_"May we meet again." Lexa's soft departure made Clarke break even more and she watched the girl that took her trust, her heart; and walk away without looking back, the whole Grounder army right behind her._

"May we meet again?" A voice sounded right beside Clarke, as she jerked awake and sat up, knife out of her pocket in no time. "Whoa! I'm unarmed!" The young woman squeaked out, fear evident all over her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Clarke swallowed, breathing hard. She fell asleep while being basked in the sun and now it was getting dark. "No, I'm sorry." She shoved her homemade knife back into her boot then took in the young woman about her own age. She was wearing a bearskin jacket and a pair of tight black cargo-like pants. "Where am I?"

The woman smiled widely and climbed up on a higher rock, pointing over towards a cliff where the waterfall was located. "Polis is just past that cliff. The walk down isn't a safe one at night."

Clarke jumped up so fast and studied the horizon where the sun was starting to set. "Polis? As in the capital?"

"Yes." The girl nodded then looked at Clarke strangely. "You're not from another clan are you? You don't dress like any other clan member I've met." She reached out and ran her fingers over the blue coat Clarke had been wearing since she landed - crashed - onto Earth. Then those green eyes widened briefly before a smile broke out. "Skaikru?"

Clarke sighed but nodded. "Yes, Sky People. I've wandered a long long way from my camp."

"Very long!" The girl bounced a bit and pulled her coat tighter against her body. "So we may as well make a camp here and then I can show you around Polis tomorrow! The Commander tells amazing tales of a Sky Princess that she had the pleasure of fighting beside."

Clarke stood in shock at the information she had just been told. Lexa made it. Lexa made it and thought of her enough to tell tales. "Did- did the Commander give this Sky Princess a name?"

"Klark kom Skaikru." The green-eyed girl smiled widely. "She was a brave warrior that fought with her heart and courage. She most likely died in battle with the Mountain Men when Commander Leksa freed her warriors and left the Skaikru for dead."

It wasn't said in a harsh tone but in a firm tone which made Clarke flinch and her heart beat wildly against her ribcage. "They didn't die. Not all of them."

"Did the Sky Princess make it? Did you fight?" The eager questions were coming out with such genuine interest.

Clarke smiled a little and sat down on the rock she fell asleep on earlier that day. "What's your name?"

"Kiari." The girl nodded and sat down across from the blonde in front of her. It was the first time she had studied the foreign girl in front of her. She could see Clarke looked older than her actual age. She noticed the small scars on her face and chapped lips that looked cracked from dehydration. "Are you a warrior for your People?" She asked again, less eager and more concerned.

"I fought, Kiari. I fought a long battle and it was hard." Clarke nodded, tears brimming her eyes but just as she tried to wipe them away, she felt a warm hand land on top of hers.

"I'm sorry for the people you've lost." Kiari whispered sincerely.

Tears fell and for some strange reason, Clarke took the comfort that the stranger was offering and let out weeks of frustration and sadness.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed but Clarke found herself waking up once again on that rock. She stared up at the sky where the stars were so bright, she thought she could see every single one. A fire crackled a few feet away from her and there was a cup of water sitting on the rock beside her.

"You look sad when you sleep." Kiari whispered from across the other side of the fire. "What troubles you?"

"So much." Clarke snorted and sat up, clearing the sleep from her eyes. She noticed the sun was starting to make its appearance once again. "Did you sleep at all?"

"I will get sleep once we reach Polis. It's a peaceful place out here but you can never be too careful with the wild animals." The brunette shrugged.

At the mention of Polis, Clarke took a sip of her drink and was ready to get the day started.

"Maybe you should take this opportunity to bathe? I mean, I'm no Skaikru expert but hygiene needs to be a priority at some point, right?" Kiara smirked and Clarke couldn't help but nod and chuckle.

Clarke felt Kiari grab her wrist and shook her head no as she went to strip her clothes to jump into the cold stream. "Follow me." She dragged her down a few feet and into a small valley where a couple of hot springs were scattered about.

After a much needed bath, Clarke had accepted the girl's help in brushing out all of the tangles in her hair before Kiari took it upon herself to braid it, tight little braids intricately placed so they wouldn't loosen as fast as normal braids would.

"Commander speaks highly of Skaikru. Did you know her?" Kiara finally asked after nearly an hour of silence as they walked down the mountain side. She allowed Clarke to take in the beauty of the view. A wide ocean was just in the distance and the city of Polis could be seen from where they were.

Clarke finally nodded after a long swallow. "Yes, I knew Lexa." She breathed the name out loud for the first time in weeks. She could feel green eyes bore into her with a curious glare. "We were- we fought side by side a few times."

Kiari's mouth twitched and her tongue itched to ask a million more questions but she slowed in her step before she asked a question she wasn't really going to ask. "Who are you?"

"Kiari!" A voice boomed from below and both women looked down with wide eyes. "Honon?" The tall burly man yelled at the sight of Clarke, an arrow aiming up towards them.

"No, she's not a prisoner!" Kiari yelled back and rolled her eyes. "Put your toys away, Kraven! She's harmless."

"Who are you?" Kraven, the man covered in battle scars and tattoos, growled possessively as they approached him slowly.

Clarke could feel her pulse quicken because what made it a good idea to come to a place where most of the people hated her People and saw them as invaders. "Beja," Clarke swallowed when Kiari swung around and looked at her, "Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru," she raised an eyebrow, "en ai gaf gouthru klir."

"Sky Princess?" Kiari slapped the girl with a slight scowl but more out of admiration. "You allowed me to talk about you and your people and Commander-"

"You speak of Heda?" Kraven hissed but allowed the two women to walk in front of him. If the blonde was truly the Sky Princess then Heda would want to see her as soon as possible.

"Not a bad word." Kiari nearly pouted and a couple of hours later, they were standing at the gates of Polis.

Clarke disconnected herself from the girl and the guard as she took in the village that laid behind the tall walls of the capital. There was a huge statue of an eagle in front of the gate where others gathered around and talked freely. A large vendor market greeted her as people laughed and children played safely on the side paths. Large wooden huts surrounded the open market area where horses were tied up and fed as their owners did their business.

Clarke felt like she was being transported into a history book she had read in class while living on the Ark. Wooded walkways were the only thing missing from the description - and the clothes. No one was dressed like a warrior. They all had neat and pressed linen shirts on with animal coats and a thicker material for pants.

"Earth to Clarke." Kiara whispered as she noticed they were being stared at.

"Skaikru!" Kraven beat a fist on his chest as he hollered out. "Klark kom Skaikru!"

Gasps could be heard throughout the market area and then a bolt of cheers were being shouted in her name. Her name was being chanted as if she were a Goddess that had fallen from the sky - for a lack of better words.

"Klark!"

"Klark!"

"Klark!"

Chanting could be heard for miles and soon the sandy pathways were filled with more and more people.

"I don't get it. Why are they chanting my name?" Clarke whispered in Kiari's ear.

"You defeated the Mountain Men, Clarke. You didn't run from your battle and you won. I told you, Heda speaks very highly of you. She assumes you're dead but she knows that you led your people into an impossible battle yet still won." Kiari bumped Clarke lightly with her hip before she gleefully joined in the chanting.

Finally it all died down and the people were going back to their shopping or daily activities. Clarke was given a new outfit to wear from a local clothes vendor, in honour of being brave. She changed into black denim-like pants and a grey tank top with a light black bearskin coat for the cool nights.

"Where can I find Heda?" She asked Kiari as they walked down a pathway in the middle of the village.

"Probably down at the Warrior Quarters." Kiara pointed down a dark rock path and stopped. "I'm not supposed to be going anywhere near there but I'm sure Kraven will forgive me just this once."

\--


	2. We Are Hardly Innocent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke waited with bated breath before she heard footsteps approaching the door. When it opened, Indra stood in front of her with wide eyes. "Indra." The blonde gave a polite nod when their eyes met.
> 
> "Clarke." Indra barely breathed before she stood firmly and looked the Sky Princess up and down. "You're alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only thing you need to know is I've changed one canon thing: Lincoln was never freed by Indra.
> 
> Also; Commander Heart Eyes is a softy when not faced with war.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Two | We Are Hardly Innocent**

At first, Clarke thought she was seeing a ghost. Surely it couldn't be. Her long hair was braided and up on her head as she swung her weapon around with ease. A fresh tattoo of, what looked like a bear claw slash, was evident on her left rib area and she looked more fit. Clarke's footsteps stopped the woman abruptly and landed in a strike pose at the intruder. Familiar eyes connected with hers and before Clarke knew it, she was being swung into a hug.

"How the hell..." Octavia scanned every ounce of Clarke and noticed the familiar clothes. "Did you sneak in here?" She asked, her eyes darting around to see if anyone noticed her.

"Well I wasn't formally invited into the Warrior Quarters, no." Clarke looked around at the marble floors where Octavia stood barefoot. "But I was welcomed into the village." She stepped back from the embrace, her hands finding Octavia's and lacing their fingers together. "How did you get here? I don't understand. You were at Camp Jaha when I left."

"I didn't plan on staying there, Clarke. How could I when I knew Heda had taken Lincoln? We all had battles to be fought and mine wasn't over until I saw to it that he was safe." Octavia whispered, her eyebrows furrowed with slight worry. 

"So you risked your life for him?" The blonde asked, nearly in awe.

Octavia nodded. "You taught me to fight for what I believe in. You taught me a lot and it turns out, I was wrong about you. I do trust you and I should have from the very beginning."

Clarke nearly snorted at the confession because no one should've trusted her judgement. She had people killed and she had her own people left hanging dry after Lexa did what was best for her own; but instead she squeezed her friend's hands in reassurance. "We all did what we needed to do."

She glanced around the room and noticed that most of the walls of the original structure were crumbling but it was beautifully taken care of and reconstructed with stone and wood. No rain would fall through the strong roof and the floors looked nearly polished in most spots. It wasn't something Clarke was expecting after taking a walk through the town square with Kiari. All of the wooden huts were big compared to the tents she was used to seeing the Grounders in; or the small makeshift huts that once made Tondc. 

"Lexa pardoned Lincoln as long as I stayed and continued to be Indra's second." Octavia puffed her chest out proudly before it deflated just as quickly. "I thought- we thought you were dead. We didn't know your fate after you left Camp Jaha. With the pauna out there in swarms, we thought..."

"I guess I'm not that easy to take down." Clarke smiled sincerely as she finally let go of Octavia's hands and stepped back. She wondered where Lexa was or if she was even around the Warrior Quarters. "Is she here?"

"She's different you know." The brunette said softly, her head nodding towards a long corridor. Clarke tilted her head curiously at the Grounder, silently asking her to explain. "Lexa is still Heda behind these walls but she's different; she's quieter."

"I, do you think I could see her?" Clarke finally asked.

Octavia nodded but grabbed her friend's hand to get her attention. "Please tell me you're not here for revenge. The war is done. What's done is done. If you hurt her in any way, Clarke..."

Clarke shook her head, hurt evident in her eyes. "I wouldn't hurt Lexa, Octavia." She gently tugged her hand back and wrapped her arms around herself. "I promise I'm not here to cause any trouble. I just need to find peace like everyone else. I didn't know how much Lexa affected me until... I mean when we kissed I just..."

Octavia stepped back with an amused look in her eyes. "Heda kissed you?" She whispered, knowing there may be ears wandering around.

"Right. Lexa is very private. Of course you wouldn't know that." The blonde muttered as she wiped her forehead but kept her lips tightly closed.

"Not that I'm surprised. We knew she was smitten with you." Octavia shrugged then pointed down a long corridor. "Go to the very end and take a right. There are two large doors. Knock and wait for an invite in. She may want the secret code since she doesn't have guards on duty in this war-free moment."

"What's the code?" Clarke asked.

"I don't know." The other girl shrugged with a smirk. "I don't have a reason to see Lexa so..."

Clarke gave her friend another light hug. "I'm really happy you're safe." She whispered.

"I'm really happy you're alive." Octavia smiled warmly before she bit her lip. "And Bellamy?"

"Probably still at Camp Jaha with the others. I think they'll be okay, O." Clarke said lightly and started her way down the dark corridor.

Clarke didn't know what to expect when she reached the large unguarded doors. She didn't know how Lexa would react and if she were honest, Clarke never even considered herself crossing a line in just showing up unannounced. She figured it would be okay because Lexa had once invited her to meet the people of Polis.

Things had changed since then.

Maybe being there was a horrible bad idea and yet she couldn't pull herself away from the doors. Swallowing heavily, Clarke wiped her hands on her pants nervously before squaring her shoulders and knocking hard on the door.

Silence.

Clarke waited with bated breath before she heard footsteps approaching the door. When it opened, Indra stood in front of her with wide eyes. "Indra." The blonde gave a polite nod when their eyes met.

"Clarke." Indra barely breathed before she stood firmly and looked the Sky Princess up and down. "You're alive."

"It appears so." Clarke barely spoke when the one person she had thought would never show emotion, hugged her briefly. Before the blonde could lay a hand on Indra to return the hug, she was pushed back and then pulled into the room.

"Wait here." Indra instructed firmly and took off through another large door.

Clarke stepped further into the room and ran her hand over the chair in the far corner. It nearly looked freshly handcrafted. She admired the carvings before she took in a table that had the same patterns on it. Just as she reached out to touch the soft looking wood, her name registered in her ears. 

"Clarke."

It said in a breathy disbelieving tone. It almost sounded broken like it was unfamiliar.

Swallowing heavily, the blonde stood up and slowly turned around to meet those steel-green eyes that had been haunting her from the moment she met the Commander. "Lexa," she whispered and stepped forward, treading lightly. She took in the appearance of the young woman in front of her. Lexa's hair was down and braided like it had always been but her attire was completely different. A tight black tank top fit her perfectly and the pants matched ones like her own and her feet bare. War paint was non-existent around her eyes and she looked more relaxed. 

In a blur, Lexa rushed towards her and stopped abruptly so they are in each other's personal space. The Commander's hands cupped her face before they trailed down her neck, her eyes searching for any injuries that the Sky Princess may have endured. Her hands searched Clarke's arms and hands before their eyes met. "I heard them chanting your name. It is with great pleasure to know that when they chant your name, it means they are blessing Polis with good fortune. I didn't think you were..." She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply before losing some sort of control and pulling Clarke into a hug.

It was a hug that only long lost loved ones could dream of having. Every inch of their bodies fit together perfectly. Lexa shivered when she felt Clarke's arms wrap securely around her waist and bury her nose in her neck.

Indra, watched quietly from the sidelines before Lexa's eyes caught hers and the silent nod was all she needed in order to leave the two young women alone. She quietly slipped out but the creak of the door jolted the moment in the room as it closed.

"You look so innocent." Clarke finally managed to say as she took in the young features Lexa was sporting without the war paint or the constant dirt from the constant fighting.

"We are hardly innocent, Clarke." Lexa whispered before stepping back and allowing herself room to breathe. She thought she had lost Clarke when she betrayed the Skaikru but it hurt even more to believe she really lost Clarke when she learned that the Mountain Men were taken out but without its own causalities.

They stood there looking at each other without saying a word. Neither one knew where to begin but Lexa kept looking at the blonde, worried she'd run away or that it was a dream.

"Why are you here?" The Commander finally asked in a curious tone.

"You told me I should come to the capital, so here I am." Clarke waved her hand around the room and gave Lexa a small smile. When she realized Lexa wasn't smiling back, she dropped the light act and sighed. "I want peace. I mean, I want it in my head. I try to go through it all in my head; why you decided to make an offer with the enemy behind my back, why you decided to leave, why this world is pretty much nothing but one big battlefield. Nothing in my head makes sense. Nothing." 

Lexa swallowed and moved around the room to sit on a chair, offering Clarke the one across from her. "If you're looking for an apology, I've already said it. And I meant it. I'm not sorry for the choice I made for my people, Clarke. But I am truly sorry that I hurt _you_."

"Love is weakness right?" Clarke muttered and shook her head at her own thoughts. "You're a warrior, Lexa. You were trained to fight in battles and you were trained to do anything to win. You don't fear death."

"But I do fear death." Lexa glared at the blonde in front of her. "I fear death for those that I love. That is why it is a weakness for me. It is a distraction and one a Heda cannot afford, do you understand?" She spoke a little softer at the end of her sentence, her hand itching to reach out and touch Clarke once again. 

Clarke leaned back in her chair and blinked away a few stray tears. "You were right." She whispered, blue eyes casting a sad and lonely glance to steel-grey eyes. "You chose with your head and not your heart. You didn't get distracted by..." she struggled for a word, "by us. You were a leader and you did what you had to do. You made sure your family, your friends and your people were protected and you didn't seem to care what it cost you."

"I did care." Lexa nearly hissed, her eyes narrowing but she stopped when Clarke's hand went up to quiet her.

"I know." Clarke hushed and closed her eyes. "I made it personal, Lexa. I made it all about love and trust and we were in the middle of a fight - a war. I was weak." She shrugged, her voice quivering. "And then I did exactly what I was so angry at you for. I killed innocent people inside Mount Weather. Oh god, there were little kids." She gasped before letting out a sob. A cry she didn't really want Lexa to see but there she was, feeling vulnerable and letting all the hurt out.

What surprised Clarke the most was the fact the Lexa rushed off her seat and unto her knees in front of the blonde. Her hands pulled Clarke forward and soon they were both on the floor, Lexa holding onto the crying woman, shushing her quietly in Trigedasleng. "It was war, Sky Princess, and you conquered it." Her hands tangled in perfectly braided blonde hair, her lips pressed lightly against a pale forehead.

It was a few moments before Clarke pulled back and wiped her eyes. She watched as Lexa looked at her, understanding and sympathy written all over features. "Does it ever go away?" She whispered quietly. The feeling of the knife sliding into Finn on constant playback in her mind. The smell of his blood on her hands; the guilt of killing hundreds of people; the fact that she made the sole decision to end the lives in Mount Weather, children included.

She wanted to find Lexa to tell her that she understood. She understood what it meant when Lexa told her _"victory stands on the back of sacrifice."_ Choices were made that she would never be proud of but she did what she had to do to save her people - and she had won. The cost was something she would have to live with but she helped her people. She saved those that meant more to her.

Lexa swallowed visibly. "No. It doesn't." She said with certainty. "The pain will consume you in your darkest hour. You'll still hear the cries of those that were sacrificed in order to move forward. _His_ eyes will still haunt you in your sleep." She pushed forward, her words hard and firm but not in a demeaning way. She watched as Clarke flinched, knowing she was talking about Finn. "You'll regret the days that you allowed them into your heart because it will make you feel weak."

Silence.

"I thought you were dead." The Commander finally breathed, her voice cracking slightly. "I thought you were dead, Clarke. I have never felt so defeated and angry with myself. I don't make decisions with my heart and I have made that very clear. It doesn't mean I take my choices lightly. Away from the eyes and ears of scrutiny, I do show weakness. I do weep for those I have lost." Lexa brushed her thumb very lightly over the scar across the bridge of the blonde's nose, "and my heart ached for you in ways that I will never be able to explain when I thought you were dead."

Clarke's lip quirked into a half smile. "Who knew Heda Lexa was somewhat of a softly?" 

Tensing up, Lexa pushed herself up on her knees and away from the blonde. "Do not judge me."

"I'm not, I promise." Clarke said quickly; quietly. She grabbed the woman's hand and pulled her back down to her level. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."

Lexa pressed her lips together and nodded, accepting the apology in silence. 

\--

The sun had gone down and a fire in Lexa's room burned brightly, cascading shadows along the cracked walls. "Who braided your hair?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"A girl I had met on top of the hot spring cliffs." Clarke rolled onto her stomach, laying towards the end of the other woman's makeshift bed. She watched as Lexa's eyes glared at her curiously, waiting for a name. "Kiari."

"Kiari the Great Wanderer," Lexa nodded and moved to lay down beside the blonde, her nimble fingers playing with the braids, "she's a rebel. She would make a great warrior but she refuses to join us."

"Your army, they join by choice?" Clarke asked, trying not to show that her body was being slightly affected by the close proximity Lexa was in. 

"If they pass the test, yes." Lexa smiled a little. "Some of us don't need the test though. We were born warriors."

"I'm not a warrior." Clarke shook her head, scowling.

"You are. Whether you recognize it or not, you are a true warrior. You are a legend, Klark kom Skaikru." The taller brunette almost looked proud at the blonde beside her.

"I didn't defeat Mount Weather alone. If it weren't for Bell, Monty or even Octavia, we'd all be dead." Clarke whispered, her fingers picking at the fur blanket below her. She felt a hand on her back and slowly it moved up and down gently, comforting her. Closing her eyes, Clarke basked in the rare comfort that Lexa was providing. An action she knew for a fact that the Commander rarely took part in.

"Octavia is a great warrior and we are lucky to have her." Lexa spoke softly and watched as her hand slowly stopped, resting on Clarke's lower back before whispering, "we are lucky to have you." She jumped slightly when Clarke rolled over quickly to face her with a frown on her face. "What is it?"

"I don't even know if I'm staying here." The blonde sat up and looked up at the ceiling before letting out a hallow laugh. "I don't even know what I'm doing here." 

Lexa decided it was time to call it a night before they got into another long round of serious discussions. Clearly Clarke had no clue what she wanted and it wasn't her place to push the woman in either direction. "Well you are welcome here, Clarke. Please stay as long as you desire. I will have Indra prepare quarters for you if you wish. In the meantime, I will grab some extra fur blankets and make a bed on the floor. You can have the bed."

Clarke stood up quickly and grabbed Lexa's wrist gently to grab her attention. "I will sleep on the floor. This is your home and this bed is yours." She made a move to step around Lexa when the woman shook her head. "Lexa..."

"We will share. Tomorrow, if you wish to stay here, we will get you a room but tonight we can be civil enough to share my bed." Lexa said firmly and gestured for Clarke to climb in first. She let out a small when the blonde didn't hesitate and burrowed herself deep into the fur blankets, making room for her. She quickly put out the fire before sliding in beside the blonde, swallowing heavily. 

It was such a simple task of sharing a bed with someone but Clarke had never been just _someone_. "Clarke," she whispered a few solid minutes later and when she received no response, she knew the woman was more than likely sleeping. "If I were anyone but a Grounder, my choices would have been different. I do regret a lot of things and sometimes making the hard decisions is the loneliest feeling. My actions may not be forgivable but I hope one day you can forgive me." Lexa never showed emotion and she never voiced her deepest concerns but at that moment, she felt compelled to lay her heart bare.

A few more moments of silence went by before Clarke rolled over, wide awake as she stared into Lexa’s bewildered gaze. "I do forgive you," she whispered hoarsely. It was something that she warred within herself for days as she walked through the woods and abandoned villages. 

As Commander, Lexa had duties to uphold. She had a whole tribe to consider, not just her warriors. Her people had come first and always would. As a Grounder, she had different traditions to uphold. Clarke may not be a Commander but she was considered a leader of her small group of people. She went through great lengths to make sure they were safe. She made decisions that made her cry every night but she did so in order to ensure a future was in their sights. They were not that different.

"Victory stands on the back of sacrifice." Clarke murmured, her blue eyes nearly glowing in the dark. "You were right, Lexa. We are the same." She blinked slowly and moved in a little closer, closing her eyes. 

Lexa could only stare at Clarke's resting face, mouth slightly ajar before she placed her head down next to the blonde and tried to wrap her mind around everything that was just said.

\--


	3. Mochof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa announces a feast in Clarke's honour.  
> Clarke finds herself participating in a Trikru tradition with Kiari.  
> Sweetness ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own these characters, except Kiari & Kraven so far.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Three | Mochof**

When Clarke woke up the following morning, she found she was alone in Lexa's bed with no one in sight of the quarters. There were fresh clothes laying on the empty side of the bed for her though. She got up and found a basin to wash her face in. After getting changed, Clarke decided to take a stroll back through the market.

"Clarke!" Kiari came running towards her at full speed and flung herself in Clarke's arms. "It's good to see you're alive and well. I've missed you!" The brunette grinned as she pulled back, causing a few eyes to linger on them and whispers to be echoing through the morning market crowd.

"You're the clingy type, aren't you?" Clarke asked with a teasing eyebrow.

"Sha." Kiari grabbed Clarke's arm, looping them together as they strolled through the curious crowd. 

"Kiari!" Kraven, the young warrior that found them the day before, shouted as he marched towards the women. 

"Kraven, dison liak ain!" Kiari nearly pouted and the blonde had to contain somewhat of a chuckled at the immature antics.

"No. Heda Leksa." Kraven scoffed before shaking his head.

"Okay, what did you just say?" Clarke asked, clearly confused by the small exchange. She stopped and squinted as the morning sun started to reach above ocean's horizon.

"I said you were mine and he said you were Heda's." The brunette sighed in defeat but pulled a slightly shocked Clarke towards the food section of the market. "I would never challenge the Commander for you but if I could, I would."

"Is that so, Kiari?" A tense and firm husky voice said from the fruit stand. There stood Lexa in her Commander gear with a variety of fruit in her basket. She watched as Kiari shifted uncomfortably under her glare before it went to the blonde beside her. Her hard gaze softened slightly, "Good morning, Clarke."

"Heda." Clarke nodded her politely.

"Kiari, if you want training to become a gona, the offer still stands." Lexa threw her an apple, not at all surprised that Kiari caught it with no effort, and then gently placed another one in Clarke's hand. "The Trikru have decided that they want to throw a traditional party in your honour tonight. We will have a feast in your name. I have my best huntsmen going out to get fresh meat. You'll be happy to know Octavia is the leader of that group."

Clarke stepped forward and whispered, "I really don't need a party thrown in my honour." 

"They want to celebrate your life, Clarke." Lexa stared at the woman with a straight face, keeping her Commander posture perfectly intact. "We've mourned the loss of you for weeks. Let us relish in your presence." She stepped closer, her mouth next to a pale delicate ear, "Beja? For me?"

Clarke swallowed and nodded. "Of course." Her heart picked up a bit when Lexa stepped back with a genuine smile on her face.

"I'll see you back at the quarters then and we will get ready together." The Commander nodded before turning on her heels and walking away, a couple of warriors guarding her.

"Octavia is the best hunter we've had in a long time." Kiari mentioned as they continued to stroll through the market. "She defeated a giant bear by herself and came back with it on her own. She's strong. They honoured her with a traditional tattoo marking."

"The bear claw slash." Clarke nodded in understanding, remembering the tattoo that decorated her friend's torso.

"Yeah, she's another legend around here." The brunette bobbed her head and glanced over at the flower stand. She plucked one that looked slightly wilted and winked at Clarke when she handed it to her. "I find you more than interesting Klark kom Skaikru, but I make a point to not fall in love. It's a weakness."

Clarke accepted the flower with a soft smile and leaned in to kiss a blushing cheek. "I find you more than intriguing Kiari the Great Wanderer, but I think my heart is already taken."

"Fair enough." Kiari laughed and pulled Clarke deeper into the city, giving her a more elaborate tour.

\--

Clarke looked around at what may be her new room. Lexa had made sure she had blankets and pillows on her newly handmade bed. Her heart fluttered a little bit when a makeshift desk was against the far wall with a sketchbook and pencils placed neatly on top. She had more than one change of clothes in a small closet right next to the large rusty body length mirror. 

Scowling slightly, she grab one of the extra blankets and draped it over the mirror, not being able to look at herself just yet.

There was a knock on the door and Octavia waltzed in without waiting for an answer. "Hey Princess." She winked, still fresh in her hunting gear. 

"Hey." Clarke gave her a small smile and pointed to her outfit. "How'd the hunt go?"

Octavia wore a smug grin. "Great actually. We caught a moose and a bear. It's going to a huge feast so you better wear a very pretty smile."

"I will, thank you." The blonde gave a nod and sat back on her bed.

"Nice digs here." Octavia took in the rather large room before a door caught her eye. "What's behind there?"

"A bathroom, I think." Clarke shrugged, having not bothered to take a further look.

"You get your own bathroom?" Octavia raised an eyebrow, a foot stomp away from throwing a tantrum. "I have to share one with Indra."

Clarke shrugged. "Lexa said this was Anya's room."

"Oh. Well then that makes sense...I think." She squinted in thought. "Why wouldn't Indra have this room?"

"She doesn't want to sleep where the dead have once rested." Clarke mentioned quietly.

Another knock sounded at the door but this time the visitor waited for an answer. Octavia got up and opened the door, her hand on the hilt of her sword instinctively.

"Octavia." Lexa stood there with a smiling Kiari beside her. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I'd be interrupting something."

Clarke rushed forward and shook her head. "You're not interrupting anything. Octavia just wanted to tell me about her hunting adventure."

"I should actually go and get cleaned up before the feast." Octavia smiled and politely ducked out, heading down the corridor.

"Hi Clarke!" Kiari grinned, stepping into the room but not before Lexa gave her the okay to do so. She squeezed between the two women and occupied herself by looking at all the trinkets setup throughout the space.

"I thought she wasn't allowed in the Warrior Quarters." Clarke asked, a slightly amused smile on her face as Kiari's face lit up at the sketchbook on the desk.

"Kiari has proven herself worthy to be inside these walls. She made sure you were okay up in the hot springs and she is now a part of your personal guard." Lexa's eyes shifted worriedly because she knew Clarke would insist she didn't need any guards.

"Lexa," Clarke whispered and pulled the woman just outside her door, "I don't need any guards."

"I know." Lexa almost smirked knowing that was exactly what Clarke would say. "I mean she fights for you now. You give her commands; she wants to serve you and we can use her skill. She's not only the best tracker, she knows the woods better than most." She nodded with certainty. "I promise this is not a ploy to have you guarded, Clarke. If Kiari wants to protect you, then allow her to do so."

Clarke looked back into the room, where Kiari was sprawled out on her bed, thumbing through a book from the bookshelf. "Okay," she breathed then looked back at a rare-smiling Commander. "On one condition," she tilted her jaw up and raised an eyebrow.

"Anything." Lexa nodded without a second thought.

"I want to learn how to be a warrior," Clarke stated. "Your way... by you." 

Lexa just stared at the blonde in shock, her eyes widening just slightly. "I thought you said you weren't a warrior." Then a challenging eyebrow rose and it made Clarke feel a little tingly inside. "I thought you found our ways harsh."

"Look, I'm sorry for the things I have said during our time in Tondc. I was naive and maybe I didn't know any better." Clarke admitted and shrugged a little. "But I feel like now that I have faced war head on, I need to be better. I need to have proper training so that I can look after myself instead of relying on sweet girls like Kiari, to serve me."

"They'll serve you, regardless." Lexa said with a shake of her head. "I'll train you, Clarke." A few seconds passed before Lexa licked her lips and grabbed Clarke's hand gently. "Does this mean you're staying here in Polis?"

Clarke allowed herself to smile and gently tangled their fingers together, squeezing briefly. "Sha." She paused and looked into those deep green eyes. "If you want me to stay, that is."

"I do." Lexa whispered lowly, her other hand itching to wrap an arm around the blonde in front of her. Movement in the corner of the corridor caught her eye and she straightened up, clearing her throat, making brief eye contact with Indra. "We need to get ready for your party. I'll come get you when it's time to go to the town square."

"I thought we were getting ready together?" Clarke asked, stepping forward when Lexa stepped back, trying to remain somewhat in charge of her thudding heart. 

"Kiari will get ready with you." The brunette smiled gently before making her way down the corridor and into her own room, Indra right behind.

"Damn," Kiari giggled, her body sliding out from behind door, "I've never seen Heda so..."

"Don't speak of the commander, remember?" Clarke reminded the girl with a smile tugging at the edges of her mouth. "Kraven gave you clear orders."

"Well," Kiari smirked mischievously and threw an arm around Clarke's shoulders, "Kraven is no longer my leader. You are."

Clarke was slightly speechless before closing her eyes and swallowing heavily. "Do not speak of your commander." 

"You're no fun." The brunette sighed but nodded firmly. "So we have a party and feast to get ready for. Let's go!" She ushered Clarke into the bathroom, leaning over the huge claw tub and filling it with warm water. "Come on, take off your clothes. I have to clean you up."

"Um," Clarke laughed nervously and shook her head, "I can bathe myself."

"But it's custom that a Heda has herself bathed by a second in command. I'm sorry darling, but I'm pretty much your only person so..." she dragged her eyes up the blonde's body, her fingers pointing to Clarke's button up shirt, "strip."

Clarke nearly sputtered at the idea and frowned. "Wait, so Heda..."

"Indra." Kiari nodded with certainty then chuckled a little at the look on Clarke's face. "Relax Sunshine," she said between giggles, "it's only for special occasions like this one. Actually it's usually only when the warriors defeat their enemies but Heda finds this moment very fitting."

Clarke just stood there with two hands clutching at her shirt, staring at Kiari. The Heda never mentioned this custom before. Lexa wanted to get ready with Clarke earlier in the day so would the custom still be upheld? Would they both be bathed, together or each-

"Sky Princess!" Kiari snapped her fingers together to get the blonde's attention again. "I promised Heda I would not make you feel uncomfortable in any way. So allow me to finish drawing you a bath then you can bathe yourself. I'm sorry."

Clarke caught the offended look on Kiari's face and blew some air out of her lungs. "You don't like me, right? No weird crush or anything?"

“Like I said, I don’t fall in love. Besides,” Kiari scrunched her face up before biting back some laughter. "I prefer dark brunette's actually. Blonde's are too...bright."

Clarke nodded, taking Kiari's word for it without a second thought and stripped down to nothing before sinking into the warm water. She groaned in satisfaction when Kiari got to work and kept it so professional that neither one of them said a word for the first five minutes until Clarke broke the silence. "I'm sorry if I offended you earlier; about this bath tradition."

"It's okay." Kiari snorted and tilted Clarke's head back, dragging her fingers through her hair, rinsing out all the dirt from the days tour around the city. "I have to keep reminding myself that you're Skaikru. You have different ways of life." She stopped her hand movements and hummed. "What do your people do when they want to show appreciation and gratitude for the hard work you've achieved - such as defeat a whole mountain and their men?"

Blue eyes stared up at the cracked ceiling before shaking her head. "Nothing. The greatest gift someone could give me would be their complete word and loyalty."

"Oh." A soft whisper floated through the bathroom. "Well Klark kom Skaikru," Kiari shifted so that she was close to Clarke's face, their eyes connecting without wavering, "I pledge my allegiance to you and you have my word on that." She moved forward and kissed the blonde on the forehead before going back to doing her job.

For the first time in her life, Clarke didn't question the statement. She grabbed the girl's hands and held them briefly. "Mochof," she whispered with so much gratitude.

"Pro." Kiari quietly murmured but was grinning wildly behind Clarke's back.

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you feel froggy, you can leap on over to tumblr and check me out - withoutyourdress (that's my name, I don't mean that you have to lose your dress or clothes to come on over... and I just made this awkward, didn't I?)


	4. Klark kom Trikru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're wearing white." Clarke pointed out the obvious. "I mean, I'm so used to seeing you in dark colours or your gear." She smiled and moved a hand to Lexa's waist briefly, if not a little intimately, "I mean, you look good in white."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the love! I appreciate it. :)

Lexa had just given an astounding speech in Clarke's honour. She had pointed out that even though she followed her own mind and saved just her people, she was still heartbroken over the fallen alliance. She looked down at a seated Clarke and apologized publicly for the hurt and chaos she had caused in the wake of her departure.

"I want you to know," Lexa continued to address the blonde but spoke loud enough for everyone else to hear, "If ever the moment arrived and we had to go to battle, I will happily fight by your side. You are a part of us now. Klark kom Trikru."

Octavia was the first one to get up from the head table and cheer loudly, ignoring the glares coming from Indra and Nyko. "Welcome to the family!" She whistled and winked at the laughing blonde, giving Lincoln a high five.

Clarke hid her face briefly when she heard her name being chanted once again. A soft hand splayed across her cheek and there was Lexa, giving her a soft, heart melting smile. Then the commander straightened and held up her cup, joining in on the chanting before swallowing her drink and sitting back down.

"You'll always be Sky Princess though." Kiari nudged her from her right side, winking.

Later on that night, Lincoln found himself on a set of makeshift drums while Kiari and Octavia tried to make up their own songs.

"I still think someone snuck Kiari in and passed her off as Trikru." Indra muttered at the nonsense but Clarke could see the amusement in her usually cold eyes.

"She's a rebel." Lexa smiled, leaning back in her seat comfortably. It felt good to be at a feast without having her sword strapped to her or having heavy armour on. "She's a great fighter, you know that."

Clarke took a sip of her drink and leaned forward, her hand touching Lexa's arm gently. "How do you know she's a fighter if she's not willing to join your warriors?"

Indra snorted. "Foolish girl always wanders off and finds some sort of fight to pick. She ran into the Ice Nation a few seasons ago and defeated most of them all on her own."

Lexa stared into the fire, her eyes zoning out slightly but nodded. "Foolish but she has a warrior heart."

"Heda, she should not even been out there, especially in the cold season." Indra stated a little heatedly. "I don't care if she was going after Cos-"

"Pleni." Lexa nearly hissed, her eyes shooting daggers at her second, hands gripping the arms of her chair tightly.

Clarke could feel the muscle tightening beneath her fingertips of Lexa's arm. She watched as Indra spit out something in Trigedasleng before bowing her head at the blonde politely and stalking off into the dark distance. "Are you okay?" She asked the commander quietly.

Lexa remained quiet, her jaw clenching as she continued to stare at the fire. Then her eyes shifted and she found Clarke staring at her with such concern that it opened up another key to a very locked up gate inside of her. "When Costia was captured, Kiari took it upon herself to go after her against my orders. She found her but was nearly killed in the process and still, she didn't get a chance to save Costia." Her voice was slightly shaky but her composure remained intact.

"Lexa," Clarke whispered, her breath so close to Lexa's neck as she swivelled her body to the side in order to give the brunette a close hug, "I'm so sorry for the losses of loved ones you have endured in times of war."

For her part, Lexa tried to cling on to any resolve she had left but was failing fast. She turned her body so that she could return the hug, closing her eyes in surrender. "We shall mourn together." she pulled back and placed a kiss on Clarke's cheek, thanking her silently for understanding.

"Hey Clarke of the moon and sky, come sing with us!" Kiari yelled from her spot beside Octavia, leaning heavily on each other. "Beja?"

Lexa nodded and gently pushed Clarke out of her seat. "Go celebrate with your people." She smiled softly. "I'll be in my quarters when you're done celebrating.Will you come see me?"

Clarke nodded enthusiastically and squeezed Lexa's hand before backing up towards her friends, never leaving eye contact or physical contact until absolutely necessary - which was apparent when she nearly went butt first into the fire pit because she was too focused on the intense stare that Lexa was giving her with that hint of a smirk. 

"Careful, Clumsy Clarke." Octavia teased when she finally made it to the small stage full of makeshift instruments.

\--

It was late when Lexa heard a faint knock on her door. She didn't hesitate to open it knowing it was Clarke. There stood the blonde in fresh clothes and her hair tightly braided, eyes sparkling. "I thought you might have gone to bed."

"You asked me to come see you." Clarke whispered softly, nervously, before stepping inside the room and closing the door behind her. She took in the rare vision of Lexa in nothing but a white loose shirt and small white shorts. She looked so different yet very much the same with her somewhat stiff posture. 

"You're staring." Lexa murmured with a small smile. 

"You're wearing white." Clarke pointed out the obvious. "I mean, I'm so used to seeing you in dark colours or your gear." She smiled and moved a hand to Lexa's waist briefly, if not a little intimately, "I mean, you look good in white."

Lexa felt herself blush and bit her bottom lip before taking the hand that was on her waist and pulling Clarke further into the room. "Did you have fun tonight?" She asked as they sat on the bed.

"I did." Clarke sighed happily, bouncing slightly. "Your people are very welcoming. I didn't expect it to go this way."

Lexa tightened her lips before leaning back on her hands slightly. "I told you they'd change the way you thought about us." She quirked a smile.

"They also respect you a great deal, so if they knew that you had abandoned your alliance, I didn't think they'd be very accepting of me.” The blonde sighed, tilting her head slightly. 

Lexa shook her head. "In a war, there are many things to consider Clarke. You have to have a solid head on your shoulders. You have to oblige your leader, no matter at what cost. My warriors probably detest me most times but they're family and they're loyal out on the battlefield."

Clarke laughed in disbelief, "They really respect you. They don't detest you in any way," she paused briefly, "except for Lincoln probably."

"I pardoned Lincoln." Lexa sounded a little hurt before getting defensive. "He was a traitor."

"No, he was fighting for what _he_ believed in, Lexa. He was fighting for love and it was refreshing to see that one of your warriors could show sympathy." Clarke whispered and shifted her body a little closer to the brunette in front of her. "It's more than just about surviving, remember? We all deserve more than fighting for our lives day after day."

Lexa's eyes darted down to the blonde's lip before looking back into intense blue. She had been in this position before, she had felt that pull to grab and kiss the Sky Princess after having the same conversation just over a month ago. Swallowing back her beating heart, Lexa didn't hesitate in taking advantage of such an intimate moment. 

Clarke found Lexa in her personal space only this time she surged forward and met the commander in the middle. She was kissing the woman as if it were the last kiss she'd ever get a chance to experience. Hot breaths mingled and tongues swirled in a dance that set every inch of their bodies on fire.

Lexa pushed Clarke on her back and swallowed the blonde's low moan, her teeth biting onto a soft bottom lip. Her body settled in between Clarke's legs, their mouths still fused together in a heart melting kiss. 

Clarke was the first to pull back, taking in a lungful of air but could barely do so because warm lips were trailing down her neck and sucking at sensitive skin. She could feel her hips canting upwards, seeking some sort of friction. The passion that swirled within her was one she had never encountered before. Her hands tangled in braided hair, merely just holding on for the ride as lips mapped out the skin on her neck.

"Clarke." Lexa raggedly whispered against a highly sensitive ear and dragged her hand down the blonde's side before dipping under the hem of her tank top, splaying across her ribcage. Fingertips scraped over the soft flesh of Clarke's skin. It had been over a year since she had any body contact in such an intimate way. Yes, as the commander she had many chances to experience the lust of some of her female warriors, but she could never bring herself to do so. Not since Costia.

However, Clarke was something else. She was someone else. Lexa knew it from the moment she learned that the blonde could be hot headed and level headed at the same time; and as she hovered over the woman in her bed, chest heaving and eyes darker than the bluest skies, Lexa wanted nothing more than to bare her body and soul to the princess that fell from the sky.

Lexa captured the blonde's lips once again, pushing her deeper into the fur blankets, breathing deeply through her nose. She groaned when fingers clutched at her back and hips pressed tight against her own. The kiss was starting to consume her and Clarke's quiet whimpers and moans were intoxicating. Her right hand splayed across a ribcage had moved upward where fingertips grazed the soft skin of Clarke's left breast.

Tearing her mouth away, Clarke gasped out Lexa's name, hands pushing her back gently.

The movement had caused Lexa to jump up, kneeling over the blonde, eyes wide and breathing heavily. "Clarke, I'm sorry. I was just lost in the moment and-"

"Shh, Lexa, it's okay." Flushed cheeks smiled up at the commander, mirroring her own red face. "I just, we need to slow down."

"I know, I know. Not yet." Lexa rolled off the blonde and laid on her back, eyes staring up at the ceiling. She felt a leg tangle into her own before her own hips were straddled and a stunning Clarke placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"No, I only meant not now." 

Lexa sat up, keeping the blonde in her lap and quirked a small teasing smile. "I believe 'not yet' and 'not now' mean the same thing." Her hands flexed against curvy hips, kissing Clarke once again. 

Clarke didn't fight the woman on stealing kisses and she had to admit that this was a side of Lexa she never thought she'd see. The brunette had let all of her walls down, whether she was aware or not, and was showing the blonde a loving, caring and very vulnerable side of herself. Yet through all of it, Clarke could still feel and see an enormous amount of strength behind each action.

Lexa was the one to pull back and rest her forehead against Clarke's. She had her eyes closed tightly, reeling in her emotions because every part of her wanted to unravel right there and then.

"Do you know what a date is?" Clarke finally whispered, sinking more comfortably into the woman's lap underneath her.

"Romantically? Yes, I wasn’t born yesterday.” Lexa whispered back with a firm nod. "I am human, Clarke. Though I've never been on one. Training along Anya pretty much my whole life before I was called to lead my people, it wasn't something that could be afforded."

"Oh," Clarke said with a bit of surprise in her voice, "well, I'd like to be your first."

Lexa stared at the woman, blinking owlishly. “Is this your peoples’ way of asking someone out?”

Clarke could only grin. “Normally there’d be grand gestures but I would like to get straight to the point,” she grabbed the hands that were resting on her hips and held them to her chest, “Lexa, would you go on a date with me?”

“Yes.” Lexa lost the teasing edge in her voice and nodded seriously. “What will we be doing?”

“I don’t know yet.” Clarke laughed quietly with a shrug and slid out of Lexa’s lap, fighting back a yawn. The brunette saw it however and got up off the bed. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to walk you to your room.” Lexa smiled and pulled Clarke up onto her feet but kept a hold of her hand.

“Why can’t we share? We did last night.” Clarke pouted and stumbled forward slightly, catching herself on Lexa’s waist with a sheepish smile.

“I can’t share a bed with you tonight.” Lexa husked out roughly. “Love isn’t just a weakness it seems,” she murmured in a whisper as they made their way across the corridor and stood just outside of Clarke’s door, “the way you taste could make anyone fall to their knees.”

“Lexa…” Clarke breathed and felt her whole body blush at the raw passionate tone Lexa had spoke in. 

“Good night, Clarke.” Lexa managed a satisfied smirk before kissing the blonde on the cheek and making her way back to her own quarters.

 


	5. So You're Dead Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Costia was her first love, that was true. They had a slow love, one that was built on far dreams and easy touches. She knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Costia but she had never felt a passion, a desire and hunger so extreme as she did at that moment, when Clarke challenged her to a fight, daring her to do so without backing down. It burned inside her like an inferno.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned you are amazing? Well you are. Thank you.

**Five | So You’re Dead Now**

 A week had passed and all of the tension in Clarke’s body was wound up so tightly, she could no longer focus. She felt a sharp smack to her face when she found herself staring at the muscles rippling in Lexa’s stomach and torso area. 

“What the hell?!” She hissed and turned her head to glare at Kiari, who stood there with a scowl of her own.

“You need to regain your focus back and not allow yourself distraction.” Kiari hissed back, her hand gesturing toward Lexa, who was in training with Indra and Octavia at once.

Clarke just watched on as Lexa accomplished a dodge roll before holding the end of her sword against Octavia’s throat. “Stop staring at me, Clarke, and get back to training with Kiari.” The Commander huffed out breathlessly, her eyes catching sparkling blue.

Then Clarke felt a shove and was on her ass in two seconds flat with the Wanderer’s sword to her chest. “Yeah, so you’re dead now.” The brunette shrugged helplessly before holding her hand out to help Clarke up off the ground.

“You can only die once, Sky Princess, at least make it count with a good fight.”

“I defeated the Mountain Men, remember?” Clarke was thoroughly unimpressed by the treatment she was receiving.

“You’re also very modest.” Octavia grunted out, dodging Indra’s attacks effortlessly.

Lexa held back to catch her breath and studied Clarke’s fighting stance. She knew the blonde had the heart of a warrior but the stance of one? It needed work. She tagged Lincoln in as soon as he walked into the training tent. “They’re all yours.” She nodded towards Indra and Octavia.

“Kiari, why don’t you go grab Clarke some water?” Lexa excused the woman before picking up Clarke’s fallen sword and tossing it to her. “You wanted to be trained, remember?”

Clarke stiffened up her shoulders and blew strands of hair away from her sweaty skin. “I remember. But see, I’m fighting Kiari and she’s not you. The deal was that you would train me.”

“I’m a distraction to you.” The older brunette pointed out and swung her sword towards Clarke, who blocked it - barely. “You need to stop seeing me as someone you’ve kissed, Clarke.”

“That’s not fair!” The blonde argued seriously. “When I’m out there in the middle of war, I know how to focus.”

“Still. You cannot allow yourself to soften just because this isn’t a real fight.” Lexa sighed in an authoritative manner. 

Scoffing, Clarke turned her back briefly before swinging her sword around and knocking Lexa’s weapon out of her hand. The clatter of the sword silenced the other three that were currently fighting and they stared, waiting to see what would happen. “Come on Heda, pick it up and let’s fight.” She taunted, the pointed edge of her sword barely touching Lexa’s torso.

Lexa clenched her jaw, masking any amount of desire behind the cold warrior exterior and picked up her sword. Raising a challenging eyebrow, she moved the blonde’s weapon away from her torso and backed up. She lunged forward and aimed for Clarke’s left arm, which was blocked by her opponent. 

Clarke had managed to nick Lexa’s bicep in a bold move but before she could ask if the Commander was okay, she was shoved with a heaving Lexa, fire in her eyes to keep fighting.

“Gonplei!” Lexa demanded and ignored the slight sting in her arm where Clarke got her. She has had a lot worse done to her. 

The other three warriors could only stand back and watch as their Commander and friend fought, barely holding back. When Clarke fell on her back, she managed to dodge Lexa’s sword right before it touched her. She gave the brunette an incredulous look, frowning as she got back up and decided she needed to put more effort into her fighting.

It went back and forth for at least five minutes before Lexa managed to corner the blonde, holding her sword against her neck, barely applying pressure. They were both breathing hard and all Clarke could do was swallow, her eyes never leaving dark green. 

“Clarke! You’re dead again? Come on now.” Kiari exasperated when she ducked into the training tent and found the blonde pinned against the far wall with the pointed sword to her neck. 

Lexa lowered her weapon down but didn’t back away from being in Clarke’s personal space. Her dark eyes merely glanced over to her second and the others; voice rough and low, “Bants.” She all but hissed and even though Indra and Lincoln knew to obey orders as soon as they were given, Octavia and Kiari wore matching grins on their faces, still standing in their spots. Lexa whipped her head in their direction. “Nau!”

Clarke was oblivious to anything but the sound of Lexa’s lowered and husky voice, her clenching jaw and her body pressing into hers with more pressure. She didn’t hear the other women scurry out behind Indra and Lincoln. Her ears hadn’t even registered the swords being tossed to the ground.

All Clarke could feel was Lexa’s lips upon hers in a fury of passion she had never experienced before. She could feel those hard yet soft hands threading through her hair, trying to fuse them together even tighter. Clarke’s breath was being stolen from her lungs and she was obliging without question.

A low moan was ripped from Clarke when she felt teeth bite down on her lower lip, a warm tongue swiping over the bite before sealing them back in a heated kiss. 

Deep down, Lexa knew that her behaviour was not very Commander-like. She was showing an immense amount of weakness but couldn't really find it in herself to care; not with the way Clarke was clutching her, fingernails digging into her bare waist and whimpers leaving that heavenly mouth. For her part, she had been distracted by Clarke's ability to hold her own in a sword fight. The way she moved her body to block her oncoming blows, the way her golden hair would fan out with each turn; it was all too consuming and Lexa just wanted to revel in the passion she was feeling for the woman; a feeling she never allowed herself to act on before she met Clarke.

Costia was her first love, that was true. They had a slow love, one that was built on far dreams and easy touches. She knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Costia but she had never felt a passion, a desire and hunger so extreme as she did at that moment, when Clarke challenged her to a fight, daring her to do so without backing down. It burned inside her like an inferno. 

Clarke's hands shifted and they were now tracing the muscles on Lexa's taught stomach. She could feel the kiss slowing down and finally her surroundings had registered in her mind. "Lexa," she whimpered when the woman pulled back, mouths still only apart. 

It took a lot of willpower on both parts to separate and catch their breaths. 

"I think we've trained enough for one day." Lexa ducked her head slightly but really couldn't hide the sheepish grin and blush. 

"If that is what I get for training with you, do we really have to stop?" Clarke flirted back, brushing hair out of her eyes.

"This is why you need to train with Kiari. You have no... desired feelings for her," the vulnerable look on Lexa's face was evident, "right?"

"No!" Clarke nearly laughed at the idea. "If you wish to have Kiari train me and you trust her skill, then I will do so. I am serious about wanting to be my best as a warrior for your people."

"That is my wish." Lexa smiled and nodded. "Let's go back to the quarters and eat something." She grabbed the blonde's hand, tugging her out of the tent. "They're your people now too, Clarke." 

\--

"Indra!" Lexa yelled from the corridor and waited until the smaller woman came marching down her way. 

"Sha, Heda?" She stood at attention in front of Lexa. 

"Can you go find Kiari for me?" She asked seriously and raised an eyebrow at her second's surprised look.

Indra just nodded firmly before leaving to seek out the stubborn wanderer. She had tried Clarke's quarters first but found it empty so out to the Town Square she went.

Lexa had paced her room for quite some time before there was a knock on the door. She rushed to answer it and found a grinning Kiari staring at her with Indra standing at her side. She grabbed the younger woman's hand and pulled her inside, bowing her head to Indra in thanks, dismissing her. She didn't miss the complete utter confusion that covered Indra's features but let it slide as she closed the door.

"You sent for me, Heda?" Kiari asked, her hands held tightly together in front of her.

"Clarke is taking me out on a date tonight." Lexa stated and began to pace a little. She allowed the other brunette to grin at her as she did so. "I cannot wear this, she says." She pointed to her Commander outfit.

Kiari smiled softly at her and nodded in understanding. "If I may?" She pointed towards Lexa's closet and when she received an okay, she opened the doors and began to dig through the various cloaks, jackets and Commander gear. "Do you have anything else less...uniform?" She turned to look at the anxious woman.

"Aside from the tops, no." Lexa replied because picking out certain style of clothing was never on her list of things to do or want to do. "This is why I ask of your assistance, Kiari."

"I'm sure I can find you something to wear." Kiari nodded and closed the closet doors. "Did Clarke say where she was taking you?"

"No." Lexa murmured. "She said it was a surprise and that I'd need to wear something more casual and less Commander."

Kiari thought about it before shuffling towards the door. "I think I know the perfect thing to wear but it's at my hut."

"Your hut?" Lexa frowned. "You don't live within the quarters?"

"No." The younger woman laughed. 

"How can you protect Clarke if she's not under your watch at all times?" 

“In all fairness, Heda, you have not asked me to stay here.” Kiari shrugged and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. “I have a home already and if you'd like, Clarke could stay with me there.”

“That is not an option.” Lexa all but hissed out her reply, maybe a smidgen of jealousy coating her words.

“Okay, okay,” the other woman stepped back with her hands in the air, a small grin playing at her lips, “but like I said, I already have a home.”

Lexa looked away in thought before she turned back to face Kiari. “Beja?” It was simple request and her eyes held a form of vulnerability to them. “For Clarke?”

“You really care for her, don't you Heda Leksa?” Kiari stated softly, admiration showing on her features. She noticed the Commander recoiling slightly and stepped forward carefully. “Don't be ashamed of how you feel. It's so rare in this world to find someone worth smiling for again.”

“Clarke and I are none of your concern.” Lexa whispered.

Kiari tightened her lips and stood silently for a moment. “We used to be great friends before you became the Commander, remember? I cared for Costia as well, she was my sister in many ways.” She stepped back and grabbed the large door handle, her eyes still trained on Lexa's. “I have respect for you and I pledged my allegiance to Clarke but make no mistake, she is my Heda now and I will stay in the quarters for her. I will take orders from her, not you.”

Jaw clenching, Lexa's eyes flashed with unfamiliar emotion before she stepped up to the brunette, “So be it. I'll have Indra set you up in Octavia's quarters, seems she's been slipping into Lincoln's every night anyway.” She grabbed Kiari's wrist and pulled her forward slightly. “I'm sorry if I have given you the impression that I no longer care for you but that is a lie. I allow you to get away with more than most because I do care and you are my friend. However, you are right. Clarke is your Commander now. I no longer have any reign over you.”

"Oh." Kiari lowered in stance a bit and relaxed. “Well that was rather anti-climatic,” she grinned helplessly before nodding her head toward the door. “I have clothes at my hut and since you’re making me move here then maybe you should help hull my stuff back.”

“You’re lucky Clarke is your Commander now.” Lexa replied stiffly before shaking her head. She couldn’t kill the woman because then her princess would never forgive her and it already weighed heavily on her mind about the forgiveness Clarke had already shown. “Lead the way Kiari, the Great Wanderer.”

Kiari just smiled as she practically skipped out of Lexa’s quarters, the Commander begrudgingly in tow.

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: withoutyourdress  
> I'm a serial reblogger, but come on over and say hi anyway!


	6. Wishing Upon Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More talk about stars, lost loves & a very tempted Lexa.
> 
> Too bad Indra ruins it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for all of the support with your comments and kudos!
> 
> I just wanted to briefly point out that yes, the characters may seem OOC slightly but that was the point. Personally, I am enjoying Lexa in a vulnerable state and Clarke for that matter. Trouble hasn't reared its ugly head yet, why not let them bask in it for now, right?
> 
> I don't own The 100 Characters. I own Kiari and I'm not ashamed of it.

**Six | Wishing Upon Stars**

Lexa looked at herself in the mirror. "Are you sure this is appropriate?"

Kiari chuckled and nodded, fixing the long shawl that hung over Lexa's right shoulder. She studied her work at picking out an outfit that would pull the Commander out of her comfort zone for a while. The tight black skinny pants fit her perfectly; leather laced knee high boots making her an inch taller and complimented with a fitted grey woven sweater and black shawl. "Lex, you look really amazing," she paused briefly, "I can call you Lex, right?"

"In private, I don't mind." Lexa replied quietly, giving her old friend a real smile for the first time in what seemed like years. "Are you sure this outfit is for me?"

"Yes." Kiari nodded seriously. "Clarke is going to probably lose her mind."

The brunette blushed a little, running her hands over the clothes she was wearing. "These clothes are yours?"

"I made the sweater and shawl. I figured the shawl will make you feel comfortable since you're used to wearing your commander sash most of the time." The other woman smiled politely before moving right behind Lexa and weaving her fingers through the unruly curls. "Would you like new braids?"

"Beja." Lexa nodded and checked herself out one last time before moving away from the mirror and sitting on her bed, allowing Kiari to take care of her hair. It was silent for a few moments before she spoke again, playing idly with her hands. "I never did thank you for what you did...for Costia."

Kiari heard the crack in Lexa's voice and swallowed hard. "You don't have to thank me."

"Clarke's people show gratitude by voicing it. So yes, I do have to thank you." Lexa softly replied.

The corners of Kiari's lips turned up slightly in a smile as she finished one braid and moved on to another. "I bet you'll have fun tonight."

A few moments later there was a knock on the solid door and Kiari got up from her spot to open it. Clarke must've had help from Octavia because she was wearing a custom made hunter's jacket and the pants were just as fitting as Lexa's. Her own hair was braided differently and the brunette checked her out with acceptance. "You are quite the knock out Sky Princess."

A throat being cleared deep in Lexa's room could be heard and Kiari slumped her shoulders briefly. "My apologies, I meant to say you are quite the knock out, _Heda Klark_."

Clarke gave a confused smile and shrugged. "I don't need the formality of titles, it's fine."

"That is not our way, Clarke." Lexa spoke up without looking towards the door. "You start being lenient with one then you're seen as weak or merciful."

"Then let me be seen as weak." Clarke stepped into the room, giving Kiari a brief hug before she did so. Her eyes caught Lexa's and widened as she took in her appearance. "Oh."

Kiari just smirked and leaned into the blonde's ear, "Seems your knees are just as weak, Heda. Have fun tonight and don't be up all night. You have training at first light." She kissed Clarke on the cheek and made herself scarce.

"Indra has to be right," Lexa shook her head in slight annoyance, "she has more Skaikru qualities in her than her own."

"She's a rebel, remember?" Clarke slowly made her way toward her date and bit her lip. "Lexa, you look..." her breath was caught in her throat when hooded eyes mirrored her own.

"How do I look, Clarke?" Lexa merely smiled at the flustered look on her face and leaned in to plant a chaste kiss on the blonde. She decided that she would cut Kiari some slack after seeing Clarke's reaction to the way she was currently dressed.

"Stunning." Clarke breathed against soft lips before touching the side of Lexa's face with the back of her fingers. "Ready to go?" She asked, pulling back and grabbing the Commander's hand, lacing their fingers together.

—

Let it be known that Lexa hadn’t given much thought in the way of romance. She did treat Costia with love and respect but the butterflies in her stomach weren’t nearly as big then as they were when she was with Clarke. They held hands as the blonde led them down a sandy path toward the ocean before finding a spot on the beach to lay out an oversized blanket.

Lexa made sure of her surroundings just in case there were any creatures lurking about. She squeezed Clarke’s hand in reassurance before sitting and pulling the other woman down between her legs, wrapping her arms around her waist and breathing the girl in from behind. “It’s so peaceful.” She murmured quietly, her breath washing across Clarke’s ear.

“I thought so.” Clarke grinned, sinking back into Lexa’s embrace, feeling the edge of the woman’s jaw digging gently into her shoulder. She looked up at the sky filled with bright stars, a large place that was once her home. Closing one eye, she squinted and pointed up to a spot in the sky, “That’s where the Ark used to be.”

Lexa looked up and frowned slightly. “How can you possibly know?”

“I don’t. I mean, not really.” Clarke shrugged and laced their fingers together. “It doesn’t matter, I guess.”

“The brightest star that was in the sky is no longer there.” Lexa quirked an eyebrow, nuzzling a soft cheek with her nose briefly.

Clarke couldn’t contain the skipped heartbeat and gasped a little at the sweetness that was coming out to play. “Did you ever stargaze?”

“No.” Lexa replied honestly but tugged the warm body tighter to her while looking up at the star filled sky. “I have regrets though after seeing this.” She whispered.

Clarke hummed in acknowledgement before allowing the sound of the waves from the ocean and the crickets from the critters to take over. It was a very comfortable silence and when she felt warm lips press against her neck, she swiveled her body around to face the brunette. “Is wishing on a star a real thing?”

Lexa gave her a confused look before smiling. “Yeah, it is. What kind of books did you Sky People read up there?”

“What would you wish for?” Clarke ignored the question and asked her own.

Caught off guard, the Commander let go of her hold on Clarke and leaned back on her hands, head tilted to the sky. “To speak with Costia one last time.”

In all fairness, bringing up exes on their date was Clarke’s fault so she couldn’t find it in her heart to be upset or feel jealous in any way. Instead, she looked at Lexa with sadness and grabbed a hold of her left hand. “You don’t have to talk about it, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be apologetic for, Clarke.” Lexa shrugged a little with uncertainty and swallowed the lump in her throat. “We mourn those we’ve lost but in the midst of battle, you have no time to let it sink in.”

Clarke nodded in agreement, thoughts of Finn’s death overwhelming her slightly.

“Every so often there would be large stars falling from the sky. I’ve never wished on one but Kiari would often tell tales to Costia about hers.” Lexa settled back a bit and smiled when Clarke’s relaxed body followed.

Clarke frowned and her eyes scanned the sky above her before shaking her head slightly. “Lexa,” she whispered, heartbreak written all over her face, “a couple of months ago, did you see something that could be mistaken for a meteor shower?”

A nod was thrown her way but eyebrows furrowed slightly when the blonde sighed out sadly. “What is it?”

“Those weren’t stars falling,” Clarke bit her lip and raised an eyebrow slightly before shrugging, “those were people from the Ark getting floated.”

“Floated?” Lexa sat up straight and stared at Clarke.

“Executed.” The word hung heavily in the air and it was much too serious of a conversation to have on a first date but there was nothing normal with how life went down on Earth. “I thought Octavia explained life on the Ark and how it worked?”

“She did but she left out the term of floating it seems.” The Commander nodded firmly. “Your people are not much different from mine. We just carry traditions out in different ways. My heart aches for you though because at least we can put our people to rest after their fight is over. We can rest peacefully knowing that their bodies are safe and cleansed. When I had you lead the fire cleansing for Finn, I meant it as a high compliment, Clarke. My people were not happy that I had allowed a Skaikru to such an honour.”

“I know, mochof.” Clarke murmured, her eyes drifting from the sky to the clear green eyes in front of her. “I wish I could’ve been able to do that for my dad.” She took Lexa’s hand in her own and inhaled deeply before asking her next question. “Did you get a chance to send Costia the same farewell?”

Tears threatened to form behind those green eyes but Lexa held her head high. “Her body was returned to me but there was no head. It is very hard to move past that. However, we did the same ritual and at least a part of her is at peace. I can live with that.” She jumped slightly when hands reached out and cupped her face. She hadn’t realized that a few tears escaped until soft thumbs wiped them away from her cheeks. Lexa returned a grateful smile before taking the hands that were on her face and bringing them down to her lap. “Do you miss the Skaikru? Your mom?”

Clarke took a few moments to think about it but she quickly shook her head. “No. I left for a reason and I don’t really have anyone to go back to.”

“Bellamy? Raven? They were your family as well, Clarke. I know Octavia has vowed to ride back one day and visit her brother. Maybe you two should take the journey together.” Lexa tucked a few strands of hair behind Clarke’s ear.

“I can’t. I can’t face them after what I’ve done.” Clarke shook her head and shifted her body so she was back to facing the ocean. The moon was starting to set higher in the sky.

“You faced me.” Lexa’s voice was slightly timid but held truth to it.

Sighing, the blonde swallowed and tucked her bottom lip between her teeth before speaking. “Maybe one day I’ll feel differently and I’ll want to go back and let them know I’m okay. Not a moment before I am ready,” she whispered firmly, “if I’m ready.”

“Okay.” Lexa nodded quietly and moved to sit next to the blonde and bumped her shoulder slightly. “Are all dates this intense and serious?” The teasing in her voice was evident and she found Clarke laughing beside her.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke huffed and threw herself back on the blanket, the softness of the sand making it very comfortable. “I promised romance and gave you the exact opposite.”

Lexa hummed, quirking an eyebrow at the blonde lying on her back beside her. She shuffled down before stretching her body out along side Clarke’s and lifted herself so her upper body was draped over her. “From the tales I’ve heard, the beach is a perfect romantic spot,” she whispered against warm lips below her, “and add in the stars on top of that? You’ve outdone yourself, Clarke.” Fingers brushed hair away from a pale face before she covered Clarke’s lips with her own.

A smile broke out into the kiss and Clarke pushed Lexa back briefly. “This is hardly what I had in mind but I think I like where this is going more,” she cupped the back of the Commander’s neck and pulled her back down against her body.

Moments passed but whether they were minutes or hours, neither woman could be sure. They had spent the remaining time sharing different depths of kisses but never venturing further. Hands would roam and linger just long enough to leave the other wanting more.

Lexa finally got up and kneeled above an equally flushed Clarke. She grinned and held her hand out to help the blonde up. “We need to get back into the city border before the moon reaches the highest point.”

Clarke stood up and made sure that her outfit was straightened out. “Why?”

“The sea creatures feed at that time on a full moon.” Lexa gestured toward the moon as it slowly climbed higher in the sky. “They don’t stray very far from shore but they do patrol the beaches for anything and everything that moves.” She watched as Clarke’s face paled drastically. “It’s okay,” she assured the blonde.

“My romantic idea potentially put us in harms way.”

Lexa smiled softly and cupped Clarke’s face, “I wouldn’t have allowed anything to happen to you. You’re safe with me.”

Clarke stared into determined green and nodded, finding nothing but truth behind them.

Lexa bent over and grabbed the blanket, shaking it out and tucked it under her arm. She felt Clarke slide a hand into her other hand and squeezed it as they made their way back toward the city.

—

After a stop at a tiny homemade ice cream shop in the middle of the Town Square, Lexa and Clarke slowly made their way back to Warrior Quarters. A few giggles escaped the Commander as ice cream threatened to drip down Clarke’s chin. After small bowls were empty, they decided to end the date on a good note.

“I had a very good night.” Lexa stopped in front of Clarke’s quarters. “Maybe we can do that again soon?”

“Of course.” Clarke smiled widely and grabbed Lexa by her shawl, pulling her in for a kiss. “Do you want to come inside?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. “We can continue what we were doing out on the beach...”

Lexa pressed her forehead against the blonde and swallowed hard because every part of her wanted to step inside that door and not return to her own room until first light. She wanted to press Clarke against cool blankets, skin against skin. She wanted to steal all of the air from Clarke’s lungs as they kissed until they couldn’t kiss anymore. She wanted to trail her hands over every inch of that porcelain skin, between breasts and between thighs with her mouth trailing and mapping out every single mark. She wanted to pull sounds from that pretty mouth and hear her name being whimpered, screamed, and moaned into her ear as Clarke unraveled beneath her.

“I really want to, Clarke.” Lexa nearly growled lowly but regained some of her strength back, “I don’t think I’ll be able to just kiss you if we go in there.”

Clarke blushed a little but never wavered and turned them so that Lexa was trapped between her door and herself. “Is that such a bad thing?” She breathed, heavy lidded eyes stealing Lexa’s breath away.

“No.” Lexa all but whimpered when Clarke stole her lips in another heart stopping kiss. She moaned quietly when hands clutched at her hips, pressing her back harder into the door.

Clarke’s tongue traced full lips before dipping inside a willing mouth, kissing even deeper while her hands moved up a strong muscular back.

The clearing of a throat broke the girls a part and there stood Indra, making eye contact with Lexa. “Sorry to interrupt Heda,” she bowed her head briefly, “but I have something of importance I’d like to discuss with you.”

Lexa licked her swollen lips and nodded, stepping away from the blonde slightly. “You can speak freely in front of Clarke.”

Indra gave Clarke a weary glance before hesitating. “It may be best if we discuss this in private.”

Lexa frowned but shook her head. “Indra, she is one of us now. We will no longer have any secrets between us,” she demanded.

“There is movement over in Tondc and one of our trackers may have spotted a member of the Ice Nation not far North of here.” Indra’s face was void of any emotion until she looked over at Clarke one last time, “and Octavia heard word that her brother has been kidnapped from a Mountain Man that escaped the fall.”

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me over @ tumblr: withoutyourdress.tumblr.com & If you're lucky, I may be able to poke my wife a little to get some writing in here and there - you may know her (AbsorbingMisery) and her Clexa fic, Understanding.


	7. Where You Go, I Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke doesn't take no for an answer in helping Octavia find Bellamy. Lexa doesn't really have much of a say, it seems.  
> Once they reach Tondc, they find a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind words and kudos. My wife is better at replying individually and I was going to step my game up and do so but writing has taken more over as of late. So, this is for all of you. Thank you.
> 
> I don't own these wonderful creatures - except for Kiari & Kraven.

**Previously:**

_Indra gave Clarke a weary glance before hesitating. “It may be best if we discuss this in private.”_

_Lexa frowned but shook her head. “Indra, she is one of us now. We will no longer have any secrets between us,” she demanded._

_“There is movement over in Tondc and one of our trackers may have spotted a member of the Ice Nation not far from North of here.” Indra’s face was void of any emotion until she looked over at Clarke one last time, “and Octavia heard word that her brother has been kidnapped from a Mountain Man that escaped the fall.”_

_\--_

Clarke stiffened up immediately before she looked over at Lexa with wide eyes. “Bellamy is in trouble? Where is Octavia?”

“She’s thinking irrationally and wants to head out at this very moment.” Indra replied and then remained silent.

Lexa turned to grab Clarke’s hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “Clarke…”

“I’m going with her.” Clarke said in a determined voice and opened the door to her quarters.

“This isn’t your battle.” Indra spoke evenly and moved to block the blonde from entering her own room. “Skaikru will rescue their own people. We have other things to worry about. The Ice Nation is roaming freely and near here. We cannot allow them to come any closer.”

Clarke shoved past the older woman, not bothering to care if they found it disrespectful. “Bellamy is my people.”

“Clarke, listen to me.” Lexa brushed past Indra as well and grabbed her shoulders. “We have to discuss priorities here. Indra is right, we cannot have the Ice Nation come anywhere near here. We have to protect this place as well.”

“Okay.” Clarke nodded simply. “You get your warriors ready to guard Polis and I’ll go with Octavia to help rescue Bellamy. We don’t need an army for that.”

“We don’t know who is near Tondc and if it is part of the Ice Nation then yes, you will need back up.” Lexa straightened up and made herself taller than Clarke, a natural instinct as Commander. “You cannot do this.”

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows and nearly snorted, “I get that you’re trying to protect me Lexa but with all due respect,” her eyes shifted to Indra, “this is my battle. I was in charge of taking down Mount Weather and if there are survivors and they’re threats to Bell or anyone else on the Ark, then yes, _this is my battle_.”

“Clarke, you don’t understand how dangerous the Ice Nation can be. The Ice Queen, she doesn’t show any mercy - especially with Skaikru.” Lexa wasn’t hiding her fear and it showed in her eyes and body language. It broke Clarke’s heart.

“You know I cannot allow Octavia to go alone and you know she will go regardless of what you say. Bellamy is her family, no matter which clan she is a part of. Lexa,” she pleads, tears brimming her eyelids with desperation, “I need to at least try and help Octavia find her brother. He’s my friend as well.”

Lexa clenched her jaw and tightened her lips while squaring her shoulders taller. “Fine-”

“Heda!” Indra hissed in outrage.

Lexa glared at her second in command and shook her head before throwing her attention back at Clarke. “You take Kiari with you. She knows hideouts and paths that others rarely follow. Kraven will also assist and I assume Lincoln is unwilling to leave Octavia’s side.”

Clarke nodded. “Mochof,” she barely whispered.

Lexa stood there, getting lost in thought while staring at a sad-stricken Clarke. Whatever was happening was throwing her back in time to when she learned that the Ice Queen captured Costia and fear struck her hard. Hard because she already thought she had lost Clarke once and she’d be damned if she allowed it to happen again. Snapping out of her thoughts, Lexa spun around and held her head high. “I will be accompanying Clarke and Octavia this time.”

“Wait, what? Lexa, no.” Clarke barely had a chance to argue before the woman cut her off.

“Heda…” Indra warned and fear slashed across her face as well.

“You will get the warriors prepared to take watch over Polis and make sure the people know that it’s just a precaution. We don’t want them to panic just yet.” Lexa ordered before ripping the shawl off of her and marching down to her own quarters.

Indra stared blankly at Clarke before muttering something in her native tongue and stomped away once again.

Clarke didn’t give her a chance to wonder what had just happened. She made use of her time and changed into her Grounder clothes and pulled the leather hunting jacket back on before throwing a small pack together and taking off to Lexa’s room.

“You can’t come,” was the first thing Clarke said as soon as Lexa opened the door.

“I am and you really don’t have a say.” Lexa closed the door behind Clarke, taking in her clothes. “You don’t plan on sleeping tonight?”

“You think Octavia is going to sleep before taking off to find Bellamy?” Clarke asked and sighed before sitting on Lexa’s bed. That was when she noticed the woman was getting dressed into her Commander gear, armour and all. “You need to stay here for your people,” she whispered.

Lexa felt some tension leave her body at the concerned look of the woman in front of her. She knelt down in front of Clarke and cupped her face, bringing their foreheads together. “You are my people, too.” She kissed her softly, allowing herself to get lost in a brief moment of weakness. “Indra is more than capable of making sure Polis is safe. Her voice is just as good as mine when I’m away. I trust Kiari and her tracking abilities. She’ll make sure we get there safely.”

Clarke swallowed and tried to hold back a sob but then the thought of Bellamy already dead somewhere at the hands of a Mountain Man, she couldn’t hold it in. She felt as if it were her own fault.

Lexa pulled Clarke to her and kissed the side of her face, gently rubbing her back. “We will find him, together. I promised I’d fight battles along side you and you’re right, he is your people. He is your friend and you have a right to save him. We’ll find whoever it is that took him and we’ll get Bellamy back to the Ark.”

* * *

Kiari was unusually quiet beside Octavia as she kept alert while the others followed behind them. Kraven and Lincoln were bringing up the rear while Lexa and Clarke stayed in between.

“We should be nearing Rainy River area. We can stop briefly if you'd like to rest.” Kiari suggested and glanced at the warrior beside her.

“No.” Octavia grunted out roughly, her hand clutching at the hilt of her sword. “We need to find Bellamy as soon as possible.”

Lincoln stepped forward and put a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder gently. “We will need energy as well, Octavia. Rest is essential and we've been on our feet all night.” He looked toward the rising sun and sighed heavily when his hand was shrugged off.

Clarke sighed and pulled Lincoln back before taking his spot behind Octavia. “We will find Bell, O. I promise.”

“What if he's already...” The sentence trailed off and Octavia shook her head before straightening her shoulders.

“Octavia,” Lexa pressed herself between Kiari and the girl in question, “we will do everything we can to get your brother back. Let us reach Rainy River and if we can press forward then we will.”

Octavia gave a nod but kept her face forward, “Mochof, Heda.”

“We also have to be aware of the Ice Nation.” Kiari murmured, her green eyes looking at Lexa with a slight eyebrow raise. She knew just how dangerous the Ice Nation could be and even though she fought a lot of them, she wasn’t fond of running into them again.

They decided to move forward and forgo stopping in Rainy River for the time being. The adrenaline coursing through them allowed them to carry on a little further. Before long, the party of six found themselves entering familiar territory just as it hit midday.

There was a small clearing just a couple of miles before entering Tondc from a back pathway. Kiari scouted the area out before giving the okay for the others to follow. The surrounding areas were quiet and once they reached the village, there was no sign of life.

“Are you sure your trackers were right?” Clarke asked, finally allowing her shoulders to relax somewhat when there was no sign of danger.

“Maybe they're just paranoid.” Octavia shrugged and opened a door to one of the main huts, only to find it empty. “The Ice Nation is still a threat but maybe they're not looking to take over here.”

“Lykon said there was movement around this area, he didn't specify that it was anyone from Ice Nation clan.” Lincoln pointed out reasonably.

Lexa wasn't one to take chances so she kept a death grip on the hilt of her sword while walking along side Clarke. “We can never be too careful.”

“Shh.” Kiari hushed them in a sudden stop, her eyes scouting out the far tree line before turning around and finding a brunette woman standing, more like clutching at a large tree, gun resting at ease to her side. She signaled for Kraven to raise his bow up and lock on the target. “Who are you?”

Clarke spun around and before she had a chance to react, Octavia yelled a 'don't shoot!' and rushed forward, pulling a timid-looking Raven into her arms. “Raven?” She asked in disbelief before following her friend's lead.

“You're alive.” Raven stated, staring at Clarke before she slumped into her friend’s arms, worn out and drained of all emotion.

Kiari and Lexa made their way over and watched as Clarke and Octavia laid the woman down on her back, her head resting in Octavia's lap.

“Raven kom Skaikru is no threat to us.” Lexa stated when Kraven was still targeting the almost unconscious brunette. She placed her hand on the bow and tipped it away. “Go find some water,” she ordered before kneeling down next to Clarke. “Is she okay?”

“I think she's dehydrated.” Clarke muttered, her fingers tracing the lines of her friend's face. She looked so weak and Raven Reyes never showed weakness. “Why is she even out here alone?”

“Bellamy.” Raven barely whispered.

Octavia ran her fingers through the messy hair splayed across her lap. “Did you see who took him?”

Raven nodded, swallowing, and her mouth dry. “Cage.”

Clarke's eyes snapped up to Octavia's and a mutual rage flared through both of them. “Raven, do you know which way?”

“We should let her rest and then ask questions. Since we didn't stop in Rainy River to rest ourselves, this might be a great opportunity.” Lincoln, always the reasonable one, suggested. “Come on O, let's get her into an actual bed of sorts.” He bent over to carefully pick up Raven and made his way to one of the vacant huts, laying her down on a bed of furs and blankets.

“Heda,” Kraven entered the hut and handed Lexa a flask of water.

“Beja.” Lexa nodded and handed the object off to Octavia. “Clarke, a word?”

Clarke eyed up her friend who was now sitting up halfway to drink the water Octavia was providing. She caught Raven's eyes and smiled a little. “I'll be right back.”

Stepping out, Clarke released some of the air she had been holding in. “After everything I've done and my friends are still getting picked off one by one.”

“There will always be a battle to be fought. The world will repopulate and other clans will join in a war that has yet to exist just to have the upper hand. Isn't that how it worked before the nuclear warfare?” Lexa pondered, her hand itching to hold the blonde's in comfort.

“But it doesn't have to be that way!” Clarke shook her head in anger before she started to pace back and forth in front of Lexa. “We could live in a peaceful place. We could draw boundary lines if needed but still show respect. What is so hard about that?”

“Power consumes our souls, Clarke. To have power means you have control and once you have that, why would you want to give it up?” Lexa frowned when Clarke stepped back, looking at her with a furrowed brow.

“Is this why you strive on being the Commander?”

“I strive to be the best Commander so I can protect my people and my home. There is nothing beyond that.” Lexa nearly hissed, taking offense. “But not everyone who has or can have power like that, sees it that way. It would be naive of you to think otherwise.”

Clarke squinted her eyes at the woman before her. “Is there a reason you wanted to talk to me?”

“I was going to ask if you were okay.” Lexa raised an eyebrow. “I can see that you're angry and you have every reason to be.”

“How did Cage even escape?” Clarke sighed and looked up toward the cloudy sky. She could feel the bitter cold in the air and wished she was back in Polis with Lexa and her friends by her side.

“He won’t be running for long.” Lexa replied, her voice steady.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa and nuzzled her neck.

“No apologies are necessary. I understand your current frustrations, Clarke.” Lexa soothed quietly before pulling back and squeezing her hand. She could still feel the anger coming off Clarke in waves. The blonde was almost visibly shaking as blue eyes searched around the fallen village of Tondc and what was left of it.

Not sure how much time had went by, Clarke and Lexa stood beside each other in silence, lost in thoughts and plans.

Kiari cleared her throat and approached the couple, “Heda? Raven would like a word with you.”

Lexa had to nudge Clarke to snap her out of her thoughts and pulled her toward the hut where Raven was resting.

“Hey Princess,” Raven was sitting up with Octavia at the end of the bed, rubbing the brunette’s feet that were in her lap, “good to see you alive and well.”

“You too.” Clarke sighed with a slight smile and fell onto the bed beside Raven, pulling her into a hug.

“I know you guys would much rather be out there looking for Bellamy so I’ll cut to the chase,” Raven took a deep breath before swallowing heavily, “Cage somehow made it out of the mountain and is very much alive, Emerson is also out there somewhere.”

“I don’t understand.” Clarke muttered in frustration. “I thought…”

“You killed them all? No.” Raven shook her head. “As far as I know, they’re the only ones though but they have Bellamy. We were out on a hunt together and Cage attacked us out of nowhere. I have a crap leg if you hadn’t noticed so they just left me in the woods and took off with him. I made it back to Camp Jaha and I told the Guard and your mom but they don’t believe me that it was Cage or Emerson. They, especially Abby, believe that I was too out of it to know for sure and that the grounders are responsible.”

“Of course.” Octavia rolled her eyes before sliding off the bed. “Your mom can be a real-”

“I know.” Clarke cut her off before focusing on Raven. “So have they started a search party? Grounders or not, you’d think they’d be out looking for him, right?”

“You’re looking at the search party.” Raven shrugged helplessly. “Kane was all for getting others to come but they wanted to wait and see if Grounders would attack first.”

“We are not wandering around looking for a battle to be fought.” Lexa finally spoke up. “I have scouts on the look out for danger but not of the Skaikru.”

“Try telling Abby that.” Raven shrugged and drank some more water while Octavia tugged her hunter jacket back on. “If you wait for a few more hours, I can accompany you.”

“No.” Octavia patted the woman’s leg and squeezed it. “Just let us know where you saw them last and which way.”

“Easy.” Raven squared her jaw and swallowed heavily. “They were heading back towards Mount Weather.”

“You know what?” Clarke got up and shook her head. “I’m going to blow that mountain up if it’s the last thing I do.”

Lexa nodded silently, stepping in next to the blonde. “We need to have a plan.”

“Kiari,” Clarke called the brunette forth and nodded toward Raven, “will you get Raven whatever she needs?”

“Of course, Heda.” Kiari said eagerly and gave Raven a small smile. “What time should I be ready to accompany you?”

“You won’t be coming.” Clarke held up her hand when Kiari went to argue and Lexa hid a smirk of amusement and the blonde being authoritative. “I need you to stay here and keep Raven company and safe, okay? The Commander has reason to be concerned about the Ice Nation so we want to always be on the look out.”

“I don’t bite.” Raven shrugged and patted the empty spot next to her on the bed. “We can keep each other warm by the fire and you can teach me some of your language.”

Kiari eyed the brunette up with interest before looking back at Clarke getting her final approval. When the blonde nodded, Kiari made herself comfortable on the bed and quietly, officially, introduced herself to Raven.

“I’m going to find some food around here and then I’ll be heading out.” Octavia announced, leaving the hut before anyone could argue.

“Heda,” Lincoln quietly approached her, “I can’t tell Octavia what to do and I know she’s going to leave regardless of who follows her. Kraven and I promise to keep her safe but I feel it’s best if you stay behind and rest.”

Clarke side eyed the two having a quiet conversation right next to her and for a brief moment, she didn’t allow herself to worry because she figured Lexa would decline the offer and they’d all follow Octavia. But Lexa just nodded and Lincoln gave them a warm smile fore leaving the hut as well.

“I’m not staying behind.” Clarke faced Lexa, frowning, “and you don’t get to decide that for me.”

“Clarke.” Lexa stressed her name and dragged the woman out of the hut, away from prying ears and eyes. “It’s only for a few hours. We’ll have horses so catching up to them won’t take very long.”

“Lexa, I can’t.” Clarke nearly pleaded.

“Bellamy is with Cage and Emerson, I know. He’s in danger and you want to be there for them but you need to rest for a few hours. Your eyes look sore and your footsteps are heavy. If we were facing a battle, do you trust yourself enough to win?” Lexa had a concerned look on her face and it wasn’t of pity but of actual concern.

Clarke, in her heart, knew that Lexa was right. She was exhausted and her body felt heavy and her eyes were sore. She needed to rest but she didn’t want to rest because then she’d feel like she was being selfish. Bellamy needed them to rescue him. He needed to know that they could still rely on her even if she felt she failed them by not killing Cage or Emerson along with the others.

“Come on,” Lexa whispered gently and placed her hand at the small of Clarke’s back, leading her across the broken village.

It had been weird to think that nearly twelve hours prior, Clarke was on her back and Lexa was making out with her on a beach during their first date. It had felt like a whole other lifetime with the way the days events were going.

Lexa’s hut in Tondc was left untouched it seemed. The throne was still standing with an exceptional amount of dust gathering on it. Her bed was made and she watched as Clarke shook out the blankets, coughing as she did so. She sighed heavily and took off her cloak and shoulder armour. “Clarke?”

Clarke looked up from where she was and stopped what she was doing. She stood there staring at the brunette without a word, silently urging her to continue.

“We are seven miles from Camp Jaha. Do you wish to stop and see anyone on the way back?” She asked quietly, carefully approaching a quiet stewing blonde.

“No.” Clarke huffed out, laying the blankets back down on the fur bed and tearing off her jacket. “We only have a few hours to sleep, we should do it now.”

Lexa nodded silently and made work of taking her own jacket off and sliding into bed. She was surprised when Clarke immediately spooned her side, tucking her head under Lexa’s chin. It was quiet except for the crickets out in the woods. Green eyes stared up at the ceiling of the hut, unblinking. Soft puffs of breath against her neck and collarbone were soothing but she could feel Clarke’s eyelashes tickling her skin so she knew the blonde was still awake as well.

Clarke’s hand gripped Lexa’s hip before dipping under her tank top and tracing the smooth skin with her fingertips. “Lexa?” She finally whispered.

“Mm?” Came the soft reply, fingers threading through strands of blonde hair.

“Thank you for caring.” Clarke lifted up on her elbow, a soft look on her face. “Not just for me but for Octavia and wanting to help get Bellamy back.”

“Octavia is a warrior of mine. She’s every bit a part of this clan as she is her own, same goes for you. Bellamy is her brother and I know how important he is to her.” Lexa softly whispered. “If something has happened to him, we will make the remaining Mountain Men pay. Blood must have blood.”

Clarke watched those stormy green eyes turn darker. She nodded silently and allowed Lexa to pull her back down but sleep wasn’t going to come easy for either of them.

They had manage to grab a couple of hours of sleep before Clarke jerked awake, remembering that she was needed. She gently crawled out of Lexa’s grasp and started to gear up quietly. It took Lexa a few moments to hear the rustling around the hut and immediately followed Clarke in getting her armour on.

“Heda?” Kiari whispered into the middle of the night as Clarke and Lexa got their horses ready. “Are you sure you want me to stay behind?”

Clarke looked at Lexa but was given the notion that it was up to her if she’d want her warrior to accompany them or stay behind with Raven until they got back. “Sha.” The blonde nodded and inched closer to Kiari. “Raven will be fine, she just needs some more rest and fluids to hydrate her. I need you to keep an eye on her so she doesn’t do something stupid like follow us and get herself killed. Please, stay behind and watch out for her?”

“Of course.” Kiari nodded without hesitating and looked back toward the hut where the brunette was currently sleeping. “She mentioned wanting to go back to Camp Jaha when she’s feeling better.”

Lexa stepped forward with a shake of her head. “You must stay here, Kiari. The Skaikru won’t take lightly to seeing a grounder anywhere near their territory if they strongly believe we are to blame for Bellamy’s disappearance, understand?”

“I do.” Kiari nodded her head and gave Clarke a quick hug. “Be safe, beja?”

“We will.” Clarke smiled a little before placing a kiss on the side of Kiari’s head and then taking Lexa’s hand, dragging her back to the horses.


End file.
